How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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