Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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