Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
