He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
