I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
