I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
