I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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