She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
