he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
