Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
