he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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