I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
