I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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