I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
