Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
