I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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