piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My vagina just clenched in fear
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
