She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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