I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
