Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
