My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
