i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
