Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
