u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
