This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
