I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
