Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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