DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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