I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
