Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We had sex on a dog bed..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
