would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
