is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dont even know how to be here
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
