You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
