Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
