you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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