GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
