Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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