Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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