soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
