His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
