I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
