It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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