just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this boner is exhausting
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
