What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
