it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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