Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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