Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
