hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
