...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Soap is not a condiment
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
