Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
