It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im holly from the hills drunk
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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