I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
